I am a 29 year old mother of two and I want so bad to be selfish. I mean, I am selfish in a way. Sometimes I don’t want to share my snacks with my kids and they know they can’t have my snacks. Yes, they get upset that I won’t share but I tell them that it’s okay to not want to share your stuff sometimes because you as an individual are allowed to have your needs and wants.
But I want to be more selfish because selfishness is not always a negative; selfishness is stigmatized and categorized with greed. Selfishness is wrong to societal standards and it’s even worse if your a mom. You are NOT ALLOWED to be selfish if you have kids, you need to teach them to share but I can’t build on sharing without the foundation and that foundation is selfishness. If my child never expresses that he doesn’t want to share with his brother, how am I supposed to teach him individuality, how am I supposed to even teach him what sharing is if it’s automatic? This isn’t about them though, this is about me wanting to be selfish.
Let me explain.
I want to learn to love myself so much nothing can come between me and my love for myself not even myself because if my children see me loving me they will love themselves. I want to gain success in my life, I want to achieve my goals and dreams because in doing so, I am teaching my children how to have ambition and to go get what you want. I want to put my dreams above all else because doing so, I am teaching them that dreams are achievable no matter what. I want to travel without my children because it will show them that “me time” is just as important as “us time”. You don’t always need to be next to or dependent of someone to value yourself; yes, including your parents and kids (my 8 year old actually likes it when his father and I travel alone). I’m an individual and I deserve to be that because everyday I strive to keep my family thriving. I should also thrive to continue to make this possible.
Society makes it so that we as people have to submit to standards we know are not right. We need to put on a show to make it so no one feels uncomfortable. Me being selfish is NOT detrimental to those around me. In fact, it shows others that you can be more than the labels put on you: mom, caregiver, person that gives their all with nothing in return. No, I expect a return and that return is that my children learn that selfishness and wanting for yourself is not wrong and that if you have a good heart, selfishness will lead to happiness for all those you care about including yourself. I’m not abandoning my children or my loved ones for passionately wanting for myself. If I wasn’t a mom, it would be called ambition but since people depend on me it’s called selfishness. You’ve got it all wrong. It’s not like I’m abandoning my children for my dreams. They watch me achieve them and they watch me want to better myself for myself and they want to do it too.
This isn’t only for moms though, any person that wants to put your goals or your dreams as a priority go ahead and do so. As long as you are responsible, it is okay to want more for yourself.
So with that I say, LET ME BE SELFISH.
Share your thoughts on what you want to be more selfish with. Any negative comments, please be selfish and keep them to yourself. Thanks for reading!